Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
