For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
