Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
