We're like a lot better than the average bears
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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