you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
