girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize