i may or may not be watching the land before time
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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