i just google imaged poop.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
