Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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