Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
