She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
