hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
