I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
