yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
