Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
