ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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