I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
