I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
