how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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