Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize