just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
