Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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