Already got asked if we're dating
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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