i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
