Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You're like the curious george of whores
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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