just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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