And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
