yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
