so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
