If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
