btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
