How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
