She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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