I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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