I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize