Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
