just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
