i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
