Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
