I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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