I can tuck mytits in my pants
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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