Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
