next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
