I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
this will be a night to untag.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
