Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
