I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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