Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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