Im at strip club and am horny
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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