no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She needs sedatives and a leash
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize