I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
