I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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