They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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