Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
