her vagine was all disorganized.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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