Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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