yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
