Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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