My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
