She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize