Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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